Writing this to myself, to allow myself to embrace the furry side of me. Against the furry shame thats in me and the world.

1. Anthropologically

I think its fascinating how humans incorporate animal imagery into their culture. Think of the ancient egyptians, native american mythology, norse mythology, roman mythology, even christianty with the lamb of god, the scapegoat. It’s everywhere.

Because our culture is our worldview. And what we understand as being part of the world, becomes our culture. You learn what a book is, and that book then becomes a part of the symbolic tapestry within our minds of what reality is. Books are smart, knowledge, archiving. The sun is bright, life-giving, hot. You compliment someone by saying their smile is as bright as the sun. Vultures prey on recent kill. You see that behavior in other areas, and you connect them! 

You can do this with every animal, and because theres so many unique traits in animals, their potential to be used in the symbolic cultural world is enormous.

But thats just the potential, what makes us actually WANT to do that, can be many things. 

For one thing, “How to do Nothing”, Jenny Odell describes the phenomena of “species loneliness”. You know the feeling when you approach a bird or a cat or a dog in public, and theres kind of an acknowledgment, even better, some kind of positive interaction? Doesnt that just kinda fill your soul a bit?

Odell uses the inverse of this feeling, an emptiness when theres not just human, but other creature interactions. I think this speaks for itself. You either get it or you don’t.

Theres a beauty in connecting with nature, with the ecosystem around you- seeing yourself not as separate but as much a piece of life as everything else. Not just you but for humanity as a whole. That’s straight up a religous experience and you can get it by Petting a Dog!

Granted im sure if life held a council right now we would be getting a LOT of shit right now.

Anyway So culture = worldview, worldview includes creatures, creatures rule, we make creatures in our culture, with everything that entails.

2. A place to be gay and be safe

Furry is an very queer space, especially comparatively. For many, it has provided a safe place to be themselves without feeling the shame that permeates a lot of society anyway.

This is what furries say, and like, as to I feel, I kind of felt that too.

I am a bisexual, gay-leaning man. The first time I’d ever considered that I could be that, was reading Waterways by Kyell Gold. It’s a coming-of-age novel about a hapless otter, Corey who meets a wolf, Siamak, who has his sexuality figured out while Corey quickly realizes he doesn’t. Spoilers for Waterways, it’s a adorable book and it made my face beet red when I first read it at a Starbucks.

They have a pretty standard gay coming of age plot, which on it’s own was enough to set me alight, but then The Coming Out happens to Coreys mom, who kicks him out the house and he isn’t allowed back. He spends the rest of the novel in haphazard and temporary living situations, still hoping he can get into a good college and crying with his boyfriend. Together, but strained in this very hard situation.

What kills me is that Corey has a brother, who still lives with their Mom. He still supports him, and gives Corey the stuff from his room. But the fact that one is still living under Moms roof and the other isn’t, is a type of connection yet isolation that hits really hard.

This book was praised as not just fading to black after Corey and Siamak get together, and actually shows a reality that a lot of queer people have to deal with.

It’s not just, the beauty of finding love and building something together with another person. It’s that, but with the fear that you might be deprived housing if you share it with the wrong people in your life. It’s dread, its fear, its alienation, it’s love.

I read a chapter of this with my then-girlfriend on the train, and as we were getting off at our stop she accidentally referred to our hands as paws. 

This doesn’t prove anything I just thought it was cute.

3. Art

The last part was lowkey about this too. I think Furries have made Incredible artistic contributions to the human race, and im tired of pretending its not.

• Fort dire. Tell me this isn’t art.
• Patricia Taxxon. Maybe the biggest furry youtuber and musician. Absolutely killing it with the art here guys idk.
  • Bicycle
  • Agnes and Hilda
  • Task
  • Techdog 1-7
  • Aeoroplane
  • The Flowers of Robert Mapplethorpe
• Nicc the Singing Dog. Lowkey the imagine dragons of the furry fandom. And I think some imagine dragons songs go hard! Ties into the gay and free as well as power of personal expression.
• Pepper Coyote, Fox Amoore. Campfire, see you next year, no cock like horse cock, when I die.
• Maus, Fantastic Mr. Fox. Turning Red. etc etc
• Echo! Adastra! The Smoke Room! Arches is the most fucking impactful story ive ever playted IT FUCKING BROKE MY EXPECTATIONS FOR WHAT YOU CAN PUT IN A VIDEO GAME AND THERE IS NO GAMEPLAY. AND IT STILL IS WITH THE RELEASED MINISTORY THAT IS FUCKING INSAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!
  • The Echo Project Alone can carry this entire art argument on its back. Honestly.
• That one transmasc animator

If you value art, then you have to value furries. I’m sorry but thats the rules.

4. Personal Expression

So, I hear from furries that furry allows them to express themselves. With their fursona and stuff. 

I…. struggle with this.

Despite my obvious interest in furry, I’ve never really used it as anything in myself. I struggle with this.

5. Am I a furry?

I like furry art, I think I share a pretty fur-adjasent view of the world as a space were animals and humans aren’t so easy to draw a line between. Furry art has influenced me greatly as a person. Some other people clearly don’t like this stuff as much as me so I at least have an more than regular interest in it.

I do not have a fursona, despite trying pretty hard. I’m not drawn to expressing myself via furry means, despite trying pretty hard. 

I’ve never gone to a con but I do really want to go with some people before I die. It sounds fun.

If we take Patricia Taxxons 3 qualities of furry media, I think out of the 3 of these, I enjoy the Symbolic aspect the most. I do enjoy fuzzy characters over humans in some cases, but it’s not like, terminal. 

So I don’t know.

Theres a friction. I think im not comfortable expressing myself, period. I have this deep yearning to be felt, and seen. But fear that will drive people away so I always try consciously to do things to keep people close.

I dont know. One day ill find someone